Comments on: Playground Politics – What Drives Peer Rejection?

By: Frank C

Frank C — Sun, 28 May 2023 03:20:02 +0000

You are so right, the playground is the place where most kids learn about life. The politics are part of it. Learning how to communicate, negotiate, and connect with others like you or not like you. Rejection does not necessarily mean you’re worthless or have no value. It’s about choices and preferences. Particularly liked the research on how demonstrated behaviors affect decisions to choose or not choose someone to be a part of a group. Very enlightening read.

By: Signe

Signe — Thu, 23 Sep 2021 16:53:08 +0000

Thank you for this article! My 4 year old just started preschool and just experienced his first rejection. They have assigned seats in class and my son became fast friends with one of the two girls with whom he sits. I was so nervous that he would don’t like it that as soon as he started talking about his friendship with this person I started mentioning her all the time as a way to help him feel good about going to class. “You’re going to get to see Allison!” But then one day she told him during recess that she didn’t want to be his friend anymore. He told me this with big tears rolling down his eyes. I felt such a bad sting of rejection. It felt so awful I couldn’t seem to get over it. He’s so young and so sweet. How could this happen? I am realizing now how much I contributed to the problem by putting so much on this little connection he had. He didn’t need me to do that. I also projected so much of my own fears of not being loved and accepted in social situations too. As much as it is not personal for the kid it is even less so for the parent! I am having to do some untangling so that I can just let him move in and out of these relationships while he learns and grows from them. Thank you for helping me think about it with a little bit of distance. I admit my first reaction was to think that I should call this girl’s parents and see what they had to say about this. Such insanity on my part!!

By: Louise

Louise — Thu, 25 Jan 2018 12:50:09 +0000

Oh my goodness this makes so much sense, thank you. The paragraph starting “Acknowledge that it can be frightening to keep reaching out to people” is exactly what I need to convey to my 9 year old son. Also the idea of finding your ‘tribe’. Thank you, this is so encouraging.

By: Karen Young

Karen Young — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 04:07:07 +0000

In reply to Carol. Carol there is absolutely NOTHING in this article that suggests exclusion, prejudice and bullying are to be embraced as character building! The point of this article is reporting on research that has looked at different things that drive exclusion and bullying. At no time is there the suggestion that this makes that behaviour acceptable. By understanding what might be driving a behaviour, we have more capacity to respond to that behaviour in a way that is effective and enduring.

By: Carol

Carol — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 16:08:14 +0000

I don’t find this paper helpful. It seems to address a pretty homogenous environment in which kids’ idiosyncacies are developed in the playground and every parent wants to reform the negative perceptions and behaviours of their offspring. It seems to imply that exclusion, prejudice and downright bullying are to be embraced as character-building by the persecuted and the persecutors are simply to be understood. Shouldn’t all kids have the right to flourish? Any kids and their parents who believe that this right is only for the chosen few and therefore with impunity inflict misery on others should also be made to understand the consequences of such behaviour even if it means taking legal action. This also what happens in adult life!

By: Sher

Sher — Sat, 09 Sep 2017 00:07:23 +0000

They left one important thing out – a child who is shy or quiet is often left out of groups. Unfortunately trying to make the child more of an extrovert often makes them feel like they are defective.

By: Rockman

Rockman — Sun, 18 Jun 2017 06:35:35 +0000

Even as kids we some to include and exclude people based on what’s important to us. As an adult, you might see a kid getting rejected because he has the wrong favorite color and things it’s ridiculous, but to kids that’s serious business.

It’s the same thing when we grow up. Petty beliefs and dispositions make us more inclined to reject others. At the same time though, a life without rejection would leave someone weak and vulnerable when it inevitably happens someday.

By: Karen Young

Karen Young — Mon, 12 Jun 2017 12:19:44 +0000

In reply to Mary. Mary you're very welcome. I'm pleased the articles are able to give you what you need to help guide your grandson. He's lucky to have you.

By: Karen Young

Karen Young — Mon, 12 Jun 2017 12:18:59 +0000

In reply to Amy. It can be so tough settling in to a new school can't it! It sounds as though your son is in wonderful hands. I hope the information is able to help him settle in at school.

By: Karen Young

Karen Young — Mon, 12 Jun 2017 12:17:56 +0000

In reply to Anne. You're so welcome Anne. I'm pleased the information has been helpful for you.