It would be better to be alone than with someone who will hold your mistakes over your head the rest of your life. There’s a chance you’ll meet someone who will accept you for your faults, live, learn, and love each other in a way that’s meaningful and productive for both of you. But you’ll never get that chance if you stay in a toxic relationship.

You’re right you know, I know this type of behaviour. They tell you you’re the crazy one when in fact we are the normal ones. They lie and make us feel bad, and they can because we are good people and they are not unfortunately.

I still love her but know 100% that our relationship has already failed. If we didn’t have children their is not a chance in the world that we’d still be together and we both know it to be a fact.

I am not going anywhere. The stats on young men raised by their mothers are what they are and I will not curse my sons with that shit. The only way it ends is if she leaves this time. I’ve already left once and she manipulated her way back in. I am here to raise my sons. I just need to not let her behavior trigger me and things will be fine…

However, even now as we start to talk a little about the truth of what happened between us, and she has listened for the very first time without a reflective attacking defense to me telling her how vulnerable and diminished I felt, my instinct was to go and comfort her. I had a really strong feeling that she needed help to understand where the negativity comes from. But, with some reflection later, I know, as is said here, that she will never change and that this drip-drip quiet belittling criticism is somehow baked in. So even though this is really upsetting and painful, I need to see it to the other side and accept being alone as the prize of being free.

I’m definitely in a toxic relationship and it feels like it’s too late. I’m broken and hurt and he has shit on me that I can never live down, but I don’t know if it’ll be any better than him holding it over my head for the rest of my life.

I really appreciate this article. It was what I needed. I am currently leaving my husband of 8 years because I have become a completely minimised worst version of myself, and I know I can be better. For years now he has been gaslighting me together with his mother to make me believe I am crazy for always fighting with him. For the whole 8 years I have caught him talking to other women online and when I confront him he invalidates my emotions by saying, ‘Oh don’t you start again with this b**t. I have had it with you going on about the same things now all these years. Don’t you get tired?’

Alright, alright I will stop doing it, only for him to go and do it again a week later. He always always tries to make mean comments about my image. If I gain weight I am fat. If I lose then my legs are weird and too thin. If I work it’s not a big deal as his salary is higher. If I don’t work then I am lazy and lame. If I cook I didn’t do anything special, I just cooked. If I didn’t cook then I am not taking care of him properly as a wife – and so on and on. Nothing ever is enough.

I voice my concerns to him and when he dismisses me I start a fight and I am just in rage. By this time he tells me life is a living hell with me and stonewalls me. He withholds affection and acts like it’s me doing something wrong. This then triggers something in me and I am the one ending up apologising to him.

I finally got the strength to ask for a divorce and say its enough. We still live in the same house and I am still afraid that I will be manipulated again to believe I am in the wrong and never escape.

Hi, I’m so sorry you’ve been through all of this. I can really relate, only I’ve been through it with 2 men, ex’s, both narcissists. I’m so glad that you blocked her. It’s really difficult, too, if you still love them. I remember reading that a relationship should be effortless. There will be times of arguments, etc, but things will be resolved quickly because both love each other so much, they don’t want to cause the other one any pain. I never had this. I’m so glad you’re going to counseling. That is a great gift you’re giving yourself. I can tell you’re a great guy. Praying that you’ll heal and find a lady who will treat you right. You deserve that!

Move on queen 💪🏿👸🏾❤️

I understand what you are saying becausi
Iam also 4 years into the same exact shit .I l8ve him but he’s killing me slowly

Narcissists most often abuse social media specifically for the purpose of luring in people they’ve known, or new people, into the narcissist’s life. Narcissists thrive on the chase of the game, the more supporters they rebind to them/their life/personal character via STOCKHOLM SYNDROME tactics is shocking. They’re blind though ardent supporters of the narcissist, that is, until w betrayal or wakeup call incident occurs.

These people exist as if on the ends of spokes on a wheel. The narcissist is at the center, and each person or small group – if related or were involved in a sport – are also assigned by small groupings. Even eras. One hell of a complex spokes wheel. Each person/grouping is told scathing lies and supposed hurtful things or instill jealousy, so as to ensure the people on the wheel have no desire to interact with “others”. Which can lead to comparing notes and an awakening to the truth that they are sucked into not seeing. It is utterly impossible to get this collection of people who are fully devoted to the narcissist to understand or believe the truths of a narcissist’s victims. That is, until an event which always causes their fragile house of lies to collapse pretty epically. Yes. Karma does make its way back to punish the narcissist. I’ve seen it happen, I would be lying if I said I’m empathetic to that. I’m not. They themselves did an epic job of destroying their last bit of people willing to stick around.

It is difficult to not self blame and shame when one is finally rid of them. You are very correct per how narcissists bomb our minds so many times that the mind will flash up a card saying ” remember THIS?” at the most unexpected of times. It takes awhile to detox and get oneself back to stasis in body and soul after the narcissist pulls their irrevocable get the hell out of my life trick. It’s also very hard to untangle the chains binding our incorrect perceptions of “self’. I am here to say the chains do loosen and fall off, though yes there are occasional triggers. a

There’s only one thing a person can gain from a narcissist. And that is an unbelievably stellar narcissist radar.