Lovely! Thanks.

Angela I completely understand how distressing this can be for everyone. As difficult as it is, it’s very likely your son will eventually grow out of this. At the moment, there is a very clear association between school and distress. Before he has any time to think about whether or not school is a threat, he is accessing memories of the distress he has come to associate with school drop-off. It will take time to untangle this, but it can be done. Try using the strategies in the article. There are also articles on this link https://www.heysigmund.com/?s=kids+anxiety which will have ways to manage your son’s anxiety at drop-off and help to ease his distress. I hope they help to bring comfort to you and your son’s and to take the trauma out of your mornings.

Nicola I’m not sure if you have seen this article, but it will help your son to understand what is happening https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-in-kids/. Anxiety is a frightening thing for kids – for adults too – but when they are able to understand why they feel the way they do, it is a powerful thing. Have you spoken to the school? Once they understand that anxiety is behind the behaviour, they will likely have some strategies and will work with you on a plan to best support your son.

We had the same with our daughter and still do 3 years later, to a much lesser extent. I spent nearly a year of my life sitting in a school car park either trying to get her to go in or after agreeing to stay there incase she couldn’t stay in and needed to leave. On the rare good day I might get home for an hour when the school would ring and ask me to collect her. They didn’t have a clue what to do when she felt anxious. With the exception of one teacher, the school were very dismissive of the situation and offered virtually no assistance. She is 17 now and i have to say it’s the hardest thing I ever had to deal with as a parent. It’s such a struggle not to get angry and the frustration I feel sometimes can be overwhelming. We have done a lot of work with mental health experts to get her to the place she is at today, but one bad day can turn that all on its back. It really does take over and support can sometimes be hard to find. But it does get better and as they learn to cope and so do we. She attends school now more than she doesn’t, which for us is a dramatic improvement and she can socialize with peers which is lovely to see. I think its such a cruel and hard thing to live with and sometimes because there isn’t anything physical to associate to it, it’s hard to relate, We find ourselves tip toeing around our child, trying not to upset her or cause any anxiety that day, sometimes to our own detriment. Its hard work but the tools my child has learned for coping will hopefully stand to her in the future. Reading all the articles and all the comments helps, we are not alone in this, other families are living with this and its great that we can share and vent with people who understand. Thanks all

Yes, that would be really useful. Thank you.