Just seeing this now. Sorry for the late response!

It’s hard to say what would have actually helped me. In hindsight, I suspect a calm minute or two to transition to school each day may have made a difference. Even just setting a one minute timer, where during that minute I know I get to have a cuddle and calm goodbye from mom/dad. It could be standing outside the classroom or in the car, or wherever makes sense. Something predictable that is the same each day. (As opposed to a frantic forced drop off, without any of that comfort).

And the other big thing would be validation. If he’s feeling sick from anxiety, talk about that with him, and explain how it’s a real thing that he is experiencing. As opposed to brushing it off, and saying, “Oh, you’re okay!”.

I hope he adapts, and starts to feel better soon!

Hi Victoria
I’m writing this because I totally understand what you are or were going through. My daughter who’s going to the kindergarten this year is having anxiety attack. She’s scared of everything and everyone. She’s a highly sensitive child. I wanted to tell you that you are not alone and I felt good to see your comment to know that I wasn’t alone today. Hope now that your daughter is in first grade that the info are getting easier for you.

Thank you for sharing your story Shell. I’ve been scouring the internet trying to find a way to help my almost 6 year old. He has always loved going to school, loves learning, has lots of friends and his teachers are lovely. But for the past week he has started to run away from me as soon as we get to the school door and say goodbye. He says he feels sick. When I try and talk to him about how he is feeling and perhaps he’s feeling nervous or worried about going in to school he just says ‘it’s only because I feel sick!’ When I take a step closer to him to try and comfort him he runs in the opposite direction until I basically end up having to get hold of him and hand him to his teacher. It’s so traumatic, I feel like such a terrible mum. I wondered if there was anything in hindsight that you feel would have helped you Shell?

Victoria I’m so pleased you have found this site. You are not alone, I promise. So many children respond to school in a similar way to your beautiful daughter. I hope the resources here are able to help you.

That’s great to hear! 🙂
I hope your son has an easier time than I did.
I think it would have helped me immensely just to have a name for what I was experiencing. I think it would have been a relief to know that my scared/panicked thoughts were real, and are part of a real condition, with a name. If he knows the word ‘anxiety’, then I think he’s already won half the battle. You can’t learn to manage something if you don’t even know it exists.

Hi. Thank you for writing that. I wanted you to know that I will be sharing it with my son (who has severe school anxiety). I say the exact things your parents said and after reading your post, I understand how that doesn’t help. I know he doesn’t understand himself and feels alone, so I think he can relate to your story. Thank you for writing this and helping my son! We all need to read more articles like this!